It's Only A Paper Rose

I have this theory about dreams. It goes like this: We, by which I mean people, are inherently transdimensional beings - our spirits or life forces or thetans or whatever you want to call them are not limited to three dimensions. And when we dream, we are in a sense returning to that natural state - it gives us a chance to step back from our everyday three-dimensional life, and evaluate where we're going and what we want to do. When we wake up, however, we try to remember these dreams through a three-dimensional set of senses, and of course they're not going to make sense because huge chunks are missing or distorted. Like trying to listen to a symphony when you can only hear half the notes - it ends up just as random assorted images.

In any case, I had a particularly vivid one this morning that was rife with all sorts of imagery, mostly involving birth and death - appropriate, I suppose, given that I'm in a transitionary period of my life right now. But (of course) all I can remember are random bits and pieces. However, it made enough of an impression on me that I'm going to list the ones I can remember, in no particular order. For the record, the dream was set (inasmuch as a dream can have a setting) during my first year of college...

--A young man dressed in drag (looking rather like Rory Merrit Stitt from the local production of Hedwig and the Angry Inch) saying something about being part of a Rocky Horror ensemble

--A very voluptuous redheaded girl with a fondness for corsets with whom I was rather intimately involved

--A pattern of small silver-outline tattoos (she claimed they weren't, but I wouldn't know how else to describe them) on the upper part of her breasts, that when aimed at different angles to the light looked like caterpillars, butterflies, and dragonflies (which, interestingly enough, is a symbol of illusion...)

--A number of amorous couples, all of college age (I think this took place mostly in the dorms), making out in various places (and various numbers)...

--My old roommate Jennifer from back at UAF, one of the liveliest and strongest-willed people I know, going through a difficult labor (which is a bit odd considering she never wanted kids)

--Three elderly people (one of whom was Mad Hettie from the Sandman comics) doing a comedy number on being old and the uselessness thereof (but also the advantages gained)

--A reenactment of a unlikely-pairing slash scene from some Harry Potter fanfic or other

--A malignant force spreading throughout the environment...nothing physical, but a concept, an attitude, that the free-flowing love and creativity should be stifled, that they shouldn't be making love, that all this creative energy should be controlled

--And finally, another flash to my old roommate, except by now her energy had been stifled, and she had more or less given up and was going to die...(what woke me up was the surge of adrenaline I got from being so upset at her - "You can't die! You're stronger than this! You're one of the strongest people I know!")

Weird, yes, I know. I really wish I had some pair of glasses or something to fill in the missing bits...I have a feeling it'd actually be pretty relevant to my life right now if I could just see the whole picture.

In other news, I lost my job today. The reason that they gave was really kind of stupid, but I think it's really a conglomerate of things - mistakes I've made and the fact that my personality just doesn't quite jibe with some people. But anyway, I'd already figured that any job where I came home in tears more than once wasn't really worth keeping, so I've already been looking for new work (see previous entry). (On a slightly ironic note, the reception department head was rather annoyed on my behalf - she really liked me, I was a good worker and they were already shorthanded. In any case, she's going to write me a letter of reference saying that I was a good worker and all...hopefully that'll come in handy during the search.)

Anyway, I've got an interview over at J&W tomorrow, so that's hopeful, and there are a couple of prospects in the paper. If worse comes to worse, I can always apply over at Costco or something - the hours wouldn't be the best, but they at least pay a livable wage. And to be perfectly honest, it's a bit of a relief to know that I won't have to go in to work tomorrow. Maybe it's just the daily grind that was getting me down, or maybe it was the personality conflicts, or something. Or maybe the fact that half the time I had no clue where I stood with the people who ran things. *sigh*

But, hey. I failed at something, I failed pretty spectacularly, so it's time to try something else. If it weren't for the fact that I have rent to pay, I'd probably just focus on theatre for the time being; as it is, who knows what's in store for me next? There are an awful lot of jobs out there...here's hoping it ends up being something less difficult this time around.

I had my interview over at Jeffus & Williams this morning. It went well enough; it wasn't anywhere near as structured as a regular interview usually is. While they did ask job-related questions (mostly to the effect of "Will you show up on time?"), it felt more like they were trying to get a feel for personality and temperament. Which I certainly wasn't going to object to - see bit about personality issues in my last job. In any case, while I left unsure of how I'd stacked up against the different prospects, I felt like it had been a pleasant enough half hour.

Anyway, I came home and took a bit of a nap - last night I couldn't sleep and was up pretty late - and woke up to the phone ringing just now. I picked it up and lo and behold, it's Nancy from J&W on the other end offering me the job. Same pay as the other place, with a possible raise at the end of the 90 day trial period. Naturally, I accepted.

I think what felt best was when I asked her "Are you sure I'll fit in OK?" and she said "I think you're going to fit just perfectly." Kind of funny, considering that I was probably the only one wearing jeans to the interview - they don't really have much of a dress code so I figured nice jeans would be fine, but the woman who was being interviewed before me had on a really nice suit and I had been wondering if that was perhaps a mistake.

Also, to address the whole "blessing in disguise" issue that came up re: me losing my job -- this one wasn't so hard to figure out. Since I didn't have to give two weeks' notice at work, I'm able to start right away - which is more or less what they needed and probably one of the reasons why they hired me. ;)

In any case, I also called the department head from my last job to thank her for all of her effort on my behalf, and let her know that I'd gotten the job I wanted. She was really happy for me, and I think it helped a bit - she seemed like she was still fuming over how stupid the whole thing really was. In any case, it sounds like I've got a reference there, should I ever need one.

And for a final observation: This is probably the quickest turnaround time I've ever had between jobs without actually having already been offered a job before leaving the first one...but hey. I'm not complaining one bit. :D